In my heart I have a rose

I've had to keep mostly quiet the last week. The plans have altered and I have been given authority to assume direct control of the Arc. Work continues on the notebooks. Otherwise very little to report. I've gotten used to this life of darkness. This empty cold world I'm living in. It's quiet. I don't even want anyone else here, I just want to show someone some of the things I've seen. I know none of what I'm seeing is real, but I don't think that matters any more. It feels so real to me it's definitely effecting me. I wonder if somehow I can effect IT. I've already pulled back images and sounds... there must be a way. Trapped in my delusion, I'll keep building my monstrosity. Because in my heart I have a rose.

   In the frozen mountains of the north western continent, lies a festering wound in the earth. Crawling with larvae.    A black cloud weeps from it’s maw, a sickly stench fills the air.    A billion tiny black wings form an incomprehensible shape, a living shadow. As the cloud passes, trees are shredded to the husk, the grass is scorched black. Each insect is the size of a mans fist, a gobbet of rotten meat with a cruel six inch stinger. They swarm the rocky jungle searching for prey, which is mercilessly stung to unconsciousness or death, and brought back to the creatures underground hive.    Those left alive have their flesh consumed, by hatched larvae, or have eggs planted deep within their bones, which when hatched consume the beast from inside.    The hive is a system of tunnels extending an unknowable distance into the earth, with walls of muscle tissue, seeping pus, oily to the touch. As wide and dark as a subway tunnel. Coun...

My plans are failing...somewhat. But I don't see what else I can do to try and make it work. All I can do for now is focus on the notebooks and pray that having something to work on will help me regain some of my sanity. I feel completely lost here now. Swimming alone in the void... I hope I can pull this together.. because if I can't I'll be trapped here forever... undying, floating in the blackness

I'm losing my mind completely. I can't keep track of what's real and important and what isn't... I Just focus on the notebooks. Thats my salvation. It's the only thing different. It has to contain an answer.

    Nestled between the mountains and the swamp lies the great necropolis, Evergreen. The city of the dead and the damned. A thousand concrete spires half sunken into the rancid swamp form the city outskirts. Yet even this part of the city is not completely abandoned. Bridges are hung between the towers and at the top floors of a few, lit windows can still be spotted.    Evergreen began as a hilltop fort nearly 1,000 years ago, and at the spot of that old fort is the mighty High Tower. The city is split into four uneven quarters, the largest of which is the Smoke Quarter, 100 square miles of factories and industrial farms. The cities few privileged  upper classes live in the Gold Quarter, the only place to see green grass and slightly clearer skies for a thousand miles in any direction. Smaller free standing towers of only a few storeys make up the skyline here, and each tower belongs to a particularly wealthy family, those heads of factories and industry, bu...

Follow my footsteps. Find the password. Board The ARK. Remove "the-ark" Enter the password.

I'm going to reach through again tonight. There's a few last preparations to make, but this signal should be stronger than the last... I hope. The Wasps of Elaria... I still have no idea what they are. But this is good... I've stared into the abyss and the abyss has stared back into me... and this is what we pulled back. I hope someone could make some sense of it. If not, at least I tried.

I made contact with the Arc a few days ago, and the reception was just as expected. I've been working through the notebooks, and I think I've found 5 entries of particular interest, which I'll attempt to make sense of over the coming weeks. For the time being here's what I've gathered from these entries: 1. wasps 2. swamp and city 3. caves and tunnels 4. Rat 5. The Deep Labs I'm very wary of sharing too much of this at once, and I want to make sure when I do share it I'm making the signal as strong as possible. So far this is all according to plan

This is a long post. Here's an audio version of it: may the rats eat your eyes I need to stop doubting myself so much. Even if I never make contact with another soul, it's important I make these records.... whether everything I've seen and experienced is real or not. Let me start at the beginning. I'm not sure how long I've been trapped here, because I only recently started keeping notes... but some of my accounts seem to go back as far as 10 to 15 years. I feel constantly dizzy and fatigued, and I find it hard to cling to any memory for longer than a few moments. i am now lost to your cause I have no idea what happened... I can't recall a time when my life wasn't like this, but I know that it's wrong. I seem to be the only person on the internet. It's like I've been blocked by everyone... except a single youtube channel www.youtube.com/scottarcmusic ...what appears to me a small music and video game remix channel, but I've been a...

I can't do it  I can't do it  I can't do it  I can't do it  I can't do it  I can't do it  I can't do it  I can't do it  I can't do it  I can't do it  I can't do it  I can't do it  I can't do it  I can't do it  I can't do it  I can't do it  I can't do it  I can't do it  I can't do it  I can't do it  I can't do it  I can't do it  I can't do it  I can't do it  I can't do it  I can't do it  I can't do it  I can't do it  I can't do it  I can't do it  I can't do it  I can't do it  I can't do it  I can't do it  I can't do it  I can't do it  I can't do it  I can't do it  I can't do it  I can't do it  I can't do it  I can't do it  I can't do it  I can't do it  I can't do it  I can't do it  I can't do it  I can't do it  I can't do it  I can't do it  I...